August 26, 2009

If you’re not already following Brendan Kelly’s (The Lawrence Arms) blog (badsandwichchronicles.blogspot.com), then get right on it. Or don’t, then you probably won’t realise when I pinch a bunch of hilarious ideas from him in the future, either way. Check out his awesome diatribe on illegal downloads. I want to bottle this dude’s brain and sit it on my bedside table like a trophy for inspiration. He’s that good.


”Look, there used to be an industry built around shoeing horses. There were places that made horseshoes, people who put em on, took em off, people that built the nails... Well, at some point, probably right around when the car started getting popular, these poor schlongs all went out of business. You know why? The world changed. All the bitching in the world about tradition or how it’s gentlemanly to ride a horse or how this one is right and this one is wrong didn’t sway anything. Shit done changed and the option is, cry about it and look absolutely pathetic, or fucking sack up, look around and figure out what the fuck you’re gonna do.”

”I can’t stand listening to these fuckers in the industry bitch about illegal downloads… It’s like crying because it’s raining… I mean, musicians gripe and gripe because their profits are shrinking, and sure, that sucks, but the idea that since they used to make X amount of dollars and now they don’t, they’re allowed to just complain and throw a fit is just childish…Humans are at our best and most innovative when we adapt. There’s never been an exciting discovery made from complaining about the way things used to be. There’s never been progress made by sitting stubbornly in the rain or the road and there’s never been a blowjob received by someone who was such a pussy that the world turned and they just rolled over and cried.”