august 19, 2009

OK so I have a message for our favourite musicans, our most beloved frontmen and guitarists upon whom we shower our affections, time and cash. As Alkaline Trio might say, “I have a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my dear”.

Quit asking us for money, yo. This week it emerged that Evergreen Terrace’s drummer needs a bunch of surgeries that will set him back $10,000, and as a result he’s set up an account for ya’ll to donate money to. His ‘donation site’ reads, “No he did not have insurance, he was in days of receiving insurance thru work”.

Poor Kyle’s not the only one asking for handouts these days. I remember donating money to Strung Out a couple years back when their studio burnt down, even though I was barely scraping together my monthly rent. And this year Scott of Unwritten Law’s family home went up in an insurance-less blaze and he too appealed to his fans for assistance. Considering the email arrived in our inbox just days after around 200 Victorians lost their lives in epic bushfires, I’m not sure he had an overwhelming response from Australians.

I understand that these musicians find themselves in times of need, and that their profession does not necessarily lend itself to comprehensive insurance nor buckets of cash, but to appeal to your fans, those susceptible to your charms through admiration, seems unfair. Remember that spud in primary school who had a crush on you and followed you around in an affectionate stupor? Remember how you made him buy you Posca pens and Roll Ups because you knew he would? Yeah, it’s the same thing. It’s taking advantage of people, and considering I’ve been dishing out on band releases, merch, and gig tickets since the first time my virgin ears were corrupted with filthy rocknroll, I’m not paying up.

Sorry guys.