May 13, 2009

Friends, as I write this, I am listening to Green Day’s 21st Century Breakdown…and I’m not entirely sure but I suspect the title might be the band’s accurate prediction of what may happen to their fans upon listening to this life-sapping wiener, cock n balls poop-fest. S

orry, sometimes when I get upset I resort to petty, childish insults and often a generous serve of onion rings. Just as when Green Day are stumped for material it seems they resort to Wiggles cover songs and super smudgy eyeliner (do Cover Girl actually sell an eyeliner that guarantees an ‘Easy, Breezy, justbeenkickedintheface’ look?).

That car scene from Knocked Up where the squeaky 3 year old in the booster seat demands to listen to Green Day always struck me as unrealistic. Three year olds don’t listen to Green Day.

OK yes, now they do.

Initial reviews of the album have been surprisingly contradictory to my dire summation, though. Everyone seems to be praising Green Day for their elaborate dissection of 21st century life and blah, blah, blah.

But perhaps the truth is that I don’t want my disarming sociological commentary coming from Green Day. They’re supposed to sing that line “when masturbation’s lost its fun…” from Longview that made me blush so much as a pre-teen. They were the dudes that sung, “Dickhead, fuckface, cock smoking, mother fucking, asshole, dirty twat, waste of semen, I hope you die HEY”, and made me feel furious and badass, and, well, now they’re preaching about anarchy in Women’s Day.