June 20, 2007

Last weekend I stumbled upon a devastating ailment that threatens gig-goers nation wide. Every one of us is susceptible to it, and many of us can find it leaves us penniless and forlorn. Worse than the drunken text message, more menacing than the mashed ‘pash n dash’, slightly more crippling than the ‘underestimation-of-perpetual-state-of-poverty-when-shouting-
strangers-rounds-of-jagers’…it’s the merch desk monster.

I.e. being moderately inebriated and purchasing many articles of clothing, vinyl, badges and stickers.

God knows this disease has stricken me many times and left me with a t-shirt collection that is slowly but surely taking over my bedroom and will soon creep onto the streets in a Blob-like quest for global domination.

What’s worse is often the clothing purchased is completely wrong for you. Lord knows I have about 50 black band t-shirts and about 30 ‘girls tees’ which are gradually heading further north with every wash (yeah, one size does NOT fucking fit all, thanks. Who thought up that phrase and how many shades of moron were they when they determined that that was physically possible?).

My favourite t-shirts are the ones with sentimental value, like my Green Day ‘Dookie’ shirt which boasts the entire front cover of the album, (to the detriment of its appearance ‘cos its damn fugly) in fine detail, or my No Doubt singlet that was so well loved in my teens that it’s turned a pale shade of mustard brown that even Napisan Oxywash cannot conquer.

My Dropkick Murphys ‘Kiss Me I’m Shitfaced’ shirt still draws plenty of bemused looks and my Death By Stereo shirt is a good 5 sizes too small now and has all the comfort of a fucking girdle, but it looks tops and was given to me personally by the band so I cannot bear to part with it.

I guess my new range of Against Me! and Draft clothing will remind me of the hugely joyous blur that was this past weekend and the best live show of 2006 and that’s AOK with me.